ChildrenOutstanding Camper; "Underachieving" Student
Chris is ten and just finished the fourth grade. Each school year, his teachers and parents struggle to make Chris into a more successful student. They point out that he appears to have above average intelligence, there are no learning disabilities, nor is he hyperactive or suffering from an attentional disorder (though his concentration is variable). Yet his school performance is very inconsistent. He generally only makes an acceptable effort when something catches his fancy. At those times, his work is excellent. Sometimes, for a teacher he really likes or when his parents promise some short-term desirable reward, he responds to the urgings and tries harder. But it doesn't last long.
When Chris has been doing exceptionally poorly in a subject and gets a very low grade for one marking period, he usually puts in the extra effort and the grade goes up one or two levels. Simultaneously, another grade will go down! Just seems as if Chris can't establish a consistent level of performance nor does he usually reach levels of adult expectations. He is labeled as an "underachiever", a word he will grow to hate more and more. Despite the fact that Chris is a good kid, funny, generally cooperative, has friends, and is a whiz at Nintendo, he mostly hears about his disappointing school performance. There is endless conflict about getting his homework done which is beginning to sabotage his relationship with his parents. Chris has become turned off to school and tends to see himself as below-average in smartness. He likes being with his friends and his favorite "subjects" are recess and gym. Occasionally he admits to liking science.
School is out and Chris is one happy boy. He is going to overnight camp for eight weeks. Last year he went for four weeks and had such a great time that his parents were thrilled to expand the experience. This boy who is generally described as lacking self-esteem for ten months of the year transforms into one of the outstanding campers. He's a leader, participates in challenge programs, loves sports (a good but not exceptional athlete), and gets glowing reports from the staff. Last year his parents wondered if they were hearing about the right child!
Sound familiar. I've just described many children whose parents come to my office and workshops. Sometimes there is an undetected attentional disorder; sometimes the child has become so discouraged with his sense of "failure" that he benefits from psychotherapy. But most of the time the child doesn't need anything more than for his parents and teachers to focus more on the child's strengths and worry less about his weaknesses.
As adults most of us attempt to choose to spend our time doing things we enjoy and are good at. We often call it a career! We also try to find time for hobbies or commitments that have special significance to us. Of course life requires us to do a certain number of tasks that we'd rather skip, but taking care of those responsibilities is a logical, adult concept, not a logical child concept. The fact that Chris only works hard when he enjoys the task is normal for a child his age. It's a good sign that he is capable of high quality performance when he's turned on by something. The child I would be concerned about is the one who finds no turn-ons in his life. Take Chris' success as a camper as a sign of what he'll do when he gets out into the real world. Take his high points as the best predictors of what he'll be like when he no longer has to attend school. It does take a certain personality type to be a consistently successful student. It's not just about smarts. If teachers and parents focus more on Chris' strengths, he's likely to end up with a more positive sense of competence and worth, which will be more important to his success as an adult than his long-forgotten grades.
Chris, have a great summer!
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